Dominic O’Ryan, Lead Psychologist with Substance Misuse Services at Camden and Islington NHS Foundation Trust. Dominic contributes some thoughts and practical guidance about how to find ways to pay the necessary attention to how we are in the context of a global storm that has in some ways come to feel like just the way things are.
My name is Dominic O’Ryan and I am Lead Psychologist with Substance Misuse Services at Camden and Islington NHS Foundation Trust.
There are times when we might feel that everything is running away with us …
We feel lost and distressed.
At these times it’s helpful to pause for a moment, to drop anchor…
Dropping anchor won’t make any storms go away, but it may allow us to notice what is happening, gather our inner resources and make steps towards self-care and action.
Our mind might tell us that it is not worth pausing because the risks are too great. If we stop even for a minute, we might become even more lost. We might discover something that we couldn’t bear, or we couldn’t manage.
Notice these thoughts and be kind to them. They are there to try and protect us from harm.
And then we can sit up or stand, plant our feet firmly on the ground, adopting a posture of someone being attentive. And alert. And kind.
Acknowledge what other thoughts are here? Are there thoughts about being overwhelmed? About not being able to cope. Maybe thoughts about never being good enough.
Maybe there are no thoughts in particular.
And rather than trying to change the thoughts or push them away or chase after more worthy thoughts, just notice what is here now.
And notice the feelings that are present alongside them. Maybe give these feelings and emotions words that describe them for you. Notice worry. Notice fear. Notice sadness. Notice anger with ourself or others.
And just connect with and notice what is here in the body. Become aware of what’s happening in the body.
Perhaps notice a heaviness. Or the breath being short or shallow.
Notice the heart racing. Notice tension or holding or bracing. Or stillness.
And be aware of immediate behaviours, perhaps avoidance, procrastination, perhaps too many biscuits, being snappy with colleagues or giving too much of ourself to others without attending to our own needs.
And then at that moment, allow the thought that maybe, just for now things are okay.
Bring to mind purpose, intention, values.
And then bring to mind just one or two behaviours that map onto those intentions and values. Behaviours that can be started and embodied straight away.
Perhaps taking a break, going for a short walk, sitting quietly for a little while longer. Or maybe there’s an email or a brief report that could actually be finished in a relatively short period of time, if only it could actually be started.
Perhaps something about turning towards a colleague. Asking them for something or offering them some kindness.
Whatever it is, whilst it may only be a small action it can still be a valuable action.
And maybe it is important to drop anchor a few times each day. And that’s alright. It’s okay to pause. And it’s certainly alright to check in on our intentions and values and sense of purpose.
And it’s always alright to turn to friends, family and colleagues to make connections, offer help and ask for help.
To be human.